Please check out my “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” spec script and leave your thoughts, constructive or otherwise.
In the episode “Gang Wars” the gang decides they need to crank their already over-the-top behavior up a notch and start a street gang to exact revenge against local teenagers who spray paint male genitalia on the wall of Paddy’s Pub. Left out of the street gang, Mac and Frank plot their own revenge on Charlie and Dennis which involves the use of a predatory bird that Frank got from a connection in the exotic animal trafficking business.
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8 responses so far ↓
simon // October 29, 2009 at 1:25 am |
this works pretty damn well. your grasp of dialogue and character and what makes the show great (catchphrases like “code brown”, wacky shit like Mr Knuckles) is absolutely spot on. lots of great charlie lines also and i love that bit about dennis’s college fraternity. it feels very real.
the main drawback is that the overall idea sounds like its been done before. it’s a bit like the one where dee and mac become guardian angels. also some of it relies on the whole racism thing which is waaaaaay played out.
eric // October 25, 2009 at 3:10 am |
yeah, this reads well. better than some of the stuff that’s made the air. kudos.
sgold2009 // October 25, 2009 at 9:17 pm |
Thank you! Much appreciated!
Philly guy // July 27, 2009 at 2:34 pm |
hey man, great script. I only have on comment. PA does not have independantly owned liquore stores. They have PA wine and spirit shoppes. Kind of a lame point and it’s something that you wouldn’t know if you were from out of town but probably a must if you’re writing for this show. Awesome episode otherwise.
TJ // July 24, 2009 at 5:13 pm |
sunny is three acts, no tag
Chris // July 13, 2009 at 12:51 am |
Stewart
Happened to stumble upon the site and downloaded and read the script and I have to say that it was very well written.
The format, plot and subplot were spot-on and the dialogue was excellent. The external characters were believable, especially the shop owner. Anyone who lives in or around center city Philadelphia knows that these little shops are everywhere.
One thing that caught me off guard a little was the scene where Dee is asking Frank for help with the guy who is seizing. He ends up dying and you did throw in a well-timed joke at the end about “cleaning up the dead guy” but I’m not sure if that is a little too much for the scene. Maybe explore a different “cry for help” from Dee (i.e. bathroom overflowing, out of beer, customer stiffed her, etc…) Not really a big issue, but that was the only thing that made me read back over.
All in all, I didn’t take my eyes off of the computer once as I read through it. The jokes were perfect in the characters voices, especially the opening scene which was a perfect setup to the plot in true “sunny” fashion: an outlandish conversation to grab the audience’s attention followed by a to-the-point inciting incident.
Good luck with the spec, looking forward to seeing this episode on FX one day.
-Chris
phillyfan36 // July 6, 2009 at 2:54 am |
I think you did a great job with this spec. My only critique is the scene w/ the black guy. While it’s not shocking for charlie or dennis to be racially insensitive and to profile quite heavily, the scene doesn’t take into account how uncomfortable these characters are about the possibility of being racists. During this scene, we don’t find them second guessing themselves as they normally do or even trying too hard to justify their actions.
Overall, the plot is totally believable, the dialogue emphasizes what links and divides each character, the jokes have great set-ups and are well timed, and the script emobodies what we love so much about this motley crew. Well done.
sgold2009 // July 6, 2009 at 4:40 pm |
Thanks philly. I think it is a great critique. I know the gang is usually conscious of their racism. An example that comes to mind is in the “Gang Goes Jihad” episode, they are very wary about calling the man who takes over the bar a “Jew” because they don’t know if its the politically correct terminology. It is actually one of my favorite lines in the series when Charlie criticizes Dennis for dropping the “hard J” – I laughed uncontrollably. Thanks again, and I will see how that can be fixed!