There has been much talk about what is now known to be Charlie's favorite dish: a nicely boiled milk steak (of course served with jellybeans, raw, on the side). If you are like me, then you want to know how you can make this delicious dish for yourself. For your culinary pleasure here is a nice recipe on how to prepare the perfect milk steak with a nice glass of zinfandel to wash it down. Make sure you get some hornet honey to dip your jelly beans in!

MILK STEAK RECIPE

Prep time 15 Min.
Cook time 20 Min.
Ready in 35 Min.
Servings 4

INGREDIENTS
* 4 (4 ounce) cube steaks
* 1/2 teaspoon salt, divided
* 1 3/4 teaspoons ground black pepper, divided
* 1 cup all-purpose flour
* 2 eggs, lightly beaten
* 1/4 cup lard
* 1 cup milk

DIRECTIONS
1. Season meat with 1/4 teaspoon of the salt and 1/4 teaspoon of the pepper; set aside. In a shallow dish, mix flour with 1 teaspoon of the pepper. Dredge each steak in flour. Dip in beaten egg, then dredge in flour again.
2. Heat lard in a large, heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Fry steaks 3 to 4 minutes on each side, or until golden brown. Drain on paper towels.
3. Pour off all but 2 tablespoons of the fat. Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of the dredging flour into oil. Cook over medium heat for 1 minute, scraping up any browned bits from the bottom of skillet. Gradually whisk in milk. Cook, stirring frequently, 3 to 4 minutes, or until thickened and bubbly. Add 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoons pepper; gravy should be quite peppery.

WHAT TO DRINK?

Zinfindel

Season 5 of “It’s Always Sunny” is in full swing. The question is: What do you think so far? The next few days I will recap each episode of the season and give out a rating between 1 drink (worst) and 10 drinks (best). The ratings will be based on overall quality compared to all other seasons. Please leave your comments.

The season started off very strong with “The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis.”  The opening scene with Charlie discussing the merits of bird-law in the United States was one of those genius moments that has made the show so popular with its fans.  Charlie’s classic line “bird law in this country is not governed by reason” was one of my top 5 all-time Charlie lines and I have made it a point to work it into at least one conversation a day. A friend will say to me, “Isn’t is ridiculous that the bus stops every few blocks?” To this I will respond, “sure, but bird law is not governed by reason in this country.” Makes no sense, but it’s fun.

The rest of the episode built on the strength of the opening scene, as the story line with Dee becoming a surrogate really displayed a dark side of Dee that we have not seen much of. While the idea of Dee being a surrogate mother was funny in itself, we see a change in Dee’s role from previous seasons from being somewhat of a supplemental character into taking over a lead story line. I thought one of the brightest moments of the show was when Dee bargains with the unsuspecting couple over how much money they are going to pay for their baby.  When haggling over the price Dee (playing off the Octomom mania) says, “If you look down around number 4 or 5, thats where you really start seeing some savings.” With the couple obviously dismayed about the idea, Dee adds, “You want to go for an octomom thing? I’m game. I’ll outdo that bitch.”  I think this episode is where we start to see Dee really take a turn for the worse and join the rest of the gang as depraved psychos.

The second story line with Mac, Charlie, Dennis and Frank foreclosing on the poor couple’s home was also classic. It was laugh-out-loud funny to hear Frank explain that the first thing that most foreclosed families do is to “smear shit all over the walls” before abandoning their home. The scene where Mac and Charlie discuss killing the kids in front of the parents was gold, and it was great to see Dennis act as the voice of reason in that situation. While I have spoken with some people who enjoyed the Honey and Vinegar bit with Mac and Dennis, I actually found this to be the weakest point of the show. It was a bit forced for my taste, but hey, it still made me laugh.

Being familiar with the law myself, I thought the continuing story with Charlie challenging the family lawyer was a nice touch. When Charlie continually demands “satisfaction” I could not control my laughter thinking to all the times I have heard this phrase used in a legal context. Charlie could do a spin-off show where he is a clueless lawyer and I think it would hands down be the funniest show on television.

Overall, I have to give this episode 8 out of 10 drinks. I thought it was a great way to start the season, and it had me revved up for the upcoming episodes. I thought the opening scene was one of the best of the entire run of the show, and the story with Dee let us know that she will no longer play backseat to the men during the coming season.

For those not in the know, the cast of “It’s Always Sunny” is taking the show on the road (literally) and are performing a live stage adaptation of “Nightman Cometh” – Charlie’s very own rock opera. Unfortunately, I was late to the game in trying to secure tickets and last I checked they a pair of these babies can run you upwards of $500. As I see it there are a few options here: I could either (a) pony up for the tickets (b) hire struggling actors to come to my house and put on a recreation of the show for me or (c) run head first through security at the show where I will likely get clothes-lined directly in the throat. It’s really a pretty tough call, but I think it will likely come down to paying $500 or die trying. 

Although all the shows are already sold out, if you are a pitiful eternal optimist and think that hitting the “refresh” button on Live Nation every few seconds will somehow magically reap you a coveted pair of tix, then be my guest. Otherwise, if you want to chip in to hire the struggling actors just let me know – at least it might be fun to heckle them! 

Show Dates:

15 - Boston, Mass. @ House of Blues Boston

16- New York, NY @ Beacon Theater

17- Philadelphia, PA @ Tower Theater

22- Seattle, WA @ Moore Theater

24- San Francisco, CA @ Nob Hill Masonic Center

25 – Los Angeles, CA @ Hollywood Palladium

 I wanted to hook it up with the pilot script for “It’s Always Sunny in  Philadelphia”. The original title of the script was “The Gang Gets Hip,”  but it was changed to “The Gang Gets Racist” before production. By  clicking on the link below, you will get the PDF version of “The Gang  Gets Racist” 

ItsAlwaysSunnyinPhiladelphiaPilot

Cheers! S.G.

Recently someone sent me a comment that they would be writing a spec script for the show “Party Down” on Starz, a show which I have never seen before. Since I am looking to write another comedy spec script sometime soon, I started to go through a list in my head of the current television comedies I can spec, but haven’t come up with many.  While I agree that the sitcom is not dead as an art form, I don’t know where to go next and an open to any suggestions. Below is a list of the shows that I have been thinking, and the potential problems that arise with them. 

• The Office (NBC): Past its spec prime. Way past. 
• 30 Rock (NBC): Right behind The Office.
• Hung (HBO): Only been a few episodes, and from what I have seen thus far, it is not too promising. 
• Flight of the Conchords (HBO): Too quirky and too much of a niche to spec for. 
• Entourage (HBO): Quickly losing its luster
• My Name is Earl (NBC): Off Air. 
• Weeds (Showtime): I would put it in the “dramedy” category.
• Party Down (Starz): Never seen the show. Is is well-respected enough to spec? 
• Family Guy/South Park: Although both are amazing, I would like to stay away from cartoons. 

Any further ideas or suggestions for new comedies I can look into? It’s a shame that Arrested Development is still not on the air. While I know I would likely never be able to match the quality of writing on that show, I would have loved to give it a shot.

My “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” spec is finished and ready to go out to enter the WB’s Writers’ Workshop. I have spent the past 2 months slaving away at writing then re-writing and re-writing again. I got opinions, notes, criticism and praise all of which I incorporated into my script. Then came the spell-checking and re-spell-checking then a final spell-check for spell-checking sake. I thought that was supposed to be the hard part. 

So, today was my final step in the journey. All I needed to do was find 2 Acco #5 brads to fasten my script together. Easy task I thought. I live 2 blocks from a Staples in New York city, it would be an in-and-out process, certainly not longer than 5 minutes. I got to the first Staples around 3 pm to find out they were all out of brads. They referred me to the Union Square Staples, around 10 blocks away so I went there. No brads. They told me to go to Office Depot on 42nd street, so I paid $2.25 and jumped in the subway. I ask the kind lady in the front  for brads.  ”What are brads” she asks. I try to explain, but take a second and try to explain to yourself what a brad is and see if it makes any sense. It’s impossible to describe one. After about 4 store clerks looked at me like I was Alf just getting out of his spaceship from Melmac, they told me they were sold out of “paper fasteners” and why don’t I try Staples on 40th street. Being the eternal optimist, I got to Staples on 40th, and after the same 10 minute ordeal trying to describe what brads are, I find out that every Staples in the city is out of stock. I don’t know how that can be, like there is some run on brads like they are The One Ring from the “Lord of the Rings.” Now it is 4:15 and I have no brads and am running out of patience. 

I return back to Chelsea, and find an arts and crafts store on a side road and am elated to learn that they have brads in stock. The kind elderly lady takes me to the back and shows me the 1/4 inch brads that I doubt could fasten together more than 2 sheets of paper. I am about to cry. I sit down on the stoop outside the store and contemplate jumping in front of a cab to ease the pain. But alas, I see a store across the street called “Showbiz Cafe.” Never heard of ShowBiz cafe before, and for all I know all they sell is bagels and schmear, but what the hell, its already 4:30 and my day has already been shot to hell. I go into Showbiz Cafe convinced the man behind the counter will laugh at me when I ask him for Acco #5 brads. To my astonishment the man tells me that they certainly do, and asks if I want 1 or 2 boxes. I cry for 10 minutes from hapiness and tell him I will take 2 boxes to avoid this situation ever again. 

If you are from New York and are looking for Acco#5 brads for your script go to Showbiz Cafe (I seriously have no relationship with anyone there, they just have brads).  The store is located on 19 W. 21st St. bt/w 5 and 6th avenues. 

Cheers!

The question for today is “what spec script are you writing for the WB’s Writers’ Workshop and why are you writing it? I am going to be using my “It’s Always Sunny” spec because it is my most recent work and best work and I think that the show is ripe for use as a spec although some would say it’s a bit of a “wildcard”.  I know there are many out there who plan to spec “30 Rock” and “The Office” as comedies, but I am nervous that the market is already saturated with these shows. There is a nice post about “what’s hot and what’s not” to spec in 2009 over at “A TV Calling.”  I would like to hear what you are planning on sending in, and if you would like to share your work that would be great.

Amanda the Aspiring TV Writer has a short little post on how to craft a good essay for any tv writing fellowship you apply for. Since most fellowships are diversity based, you need an exemplary essay to stand out from the crowd. Any other suggestions are welcome. 

Cheers!  

Please check out my “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” spec script and leave your thoughts, constructive or otherwise.

GangWarsFinalDraft

In the episode “Gang Wars” the gang decides they need to crank their already over-the-top behavior up a notch and start a street gang to exact revenge against local teenagers who spray paint male genitalia on the wall of Paddy’s Pub. Left out of the street gang, Mac and Frank plot their own revenge on Charlie and Dennis which involves the use of a predatory bird that Frank got from a connection in the exotic animal trafficking business.

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